Guilt, Overload, Happiness & Monster Muffins:)

So, I was feeling guilty for not updating as much as I said I would from the very start (and then it dwindled to once a week and now I let it get to 2 weeks). But I was reading somebody's blog the other day and it actually talked about how we always feel guilty when we don't update, like we let people down (which is exactly how I feel). She went into how we started a blog for fun, beyond whatever the other reasons are (mine were because I love food and creating new recipes and above all I really wanted to be a source for those who can not have lactose or want to improve what they eat but don't know where to start). So, that helped me a little bit to get over my guilt. The blogger talked about how it's the same feeling you get when you're a little kid and didn't do your homework so now you're having to tell the teacher why you didn't. Makes sense, doesn't it?:)

Truth is, I didn't want to blog just about my internship which is what it would have been if I'd posted any sooner. I've been so busy with work that I haven't created, let alone tried any new recipes or even made any huge trips to the grocery store to "discover" any new food I want to share. I've been working in the mornings mostly, so when I get off and it's time for my "day", I'm so exhausted I just come home, make something easy (and healthy), and pass out. This week however will be different. I work a lot of nights, so I get to have my "day" early on! Hooray:) More cooking/creating/blogging time!:)

Obviously, I'm having a bit of trouble with time management and probably taking on too much. Not too much anything -- that I could handle more of, but many athletic goals. I started swimming, which I've had 3 lessons out of 5 and if I don't even have the last two I still feel like I got out of it what I wanted. With that I want to do a triathalon which I've reluctantly put slightly to the side to make room for work and a marathon. Then you have the marathon -- the doozy that I'm battling with. It's not that the training is hard, I'm not even that far into it. I've fun farther for fun -- today was supposed to be a 9 mile long run. However, I fall into this every time I start to train and that is that training sucks the fun out of running for me. I hate having to have to run -- but I love getting up in the morning and just running 9 miles because I have the time or maybe I planned to do it the following morning the night before. There is something about training, I'm not sure what it is. Maybe all the complicated things I know I should be doing like the fartleks and the drills, but I hate having to make time for those too. I do sprints, and weights and I cross train like crazy but that's it. So here I am, in debate. Do I force myself to do this life goal? Or do I take a step back, do the half marathon's for a while and do that when the timing feels right? When I want to do things, I want to do them now and have a hard time waiting. But the voice in my head is speaking up a little more this time and it's telling me that I won't enjoy it if I hate the training. Who runs a marathon when they don't like running anyway? I love running. But right now, it's more of a frustration than an outlet for me. Thoughts? I've also taken up boxing. I get the GroupOn notifications and got a coupon for training like a fighter at Club K.O. I LOVE IT!! I loved punching the crap out of the bag, I loved the drills, I loved seeing all kinds of people in this club from super fit to morbidl obese wanting to work on their fitness -- because it wasn't easy let me tell you, but not so hard I couldn't do it. However, I'm feeling a little sore today and cannot WAIT to go back!! I got 25 classes for $25 with my GroupOn and I have only 3 weeks left here in SA. I fully intend to use as many of those as I can. That also interferes with training though of course! It counts as cross training, sure. But I want to do it as much as possible, not just once a week. So with that I have a couple to 3 days a week of running, then a couple days for boxing, a couple for swimming and one for weights. They can over lap, but I can't over expend my energy because at work I need a sharp mind and I'm constantly moving and thinking. Oh what to do, what to do?

The countdown is on and only 3  more weeks left until I'm back in Lubbock. I'm excited, but now I'm also very reluctant to leave my actual family (Mom, Dad, Sarah - in Austin, and Dakota -- the family dog) as well as my work family. I've come to love being around them (I already knew this about my family family--I'm talking about my Kona "family") and I look forward to going to work every day and seeing everybody and working hard with them. I'm really going to miss it this next year. Although I really want to travel, which I think I still with for a while if I have the funds; if I was offered a job at Kona, it would be a really hard decision for me to decide whether to take it or move across the ocean and apprentice for awhile. The experience of moving would be amazing, and being in the new place would be amazing, but I wouldn't have the family (family family, friends family, and work family) that I have here. We'll see, I suppose it's a year off but I want to start thinking now. This is if not the rest of my life, a huge part of my future and who I am/will be.

Quite a deep post:) A lot has been going on in this ol' noggin of mine that's for sure.:)

As for food, I found this recipe I have not yet made on green muffins made with spinich. Sounds awful right? Well I think they actually look really good and I've had a couple friends make them and have heard good things. I'll make them soon, but I haven't had the time. And I'm not much of a muffin person because they're usually loaded with sugar but these aren't so much:) Monster Muffin Recipe

I've also switched back to almond milk for the time being. I compared labels one day and came to find that almond milk generally has less chemicals than coconut milk. Maybe some of them are naturally occuring but I don't really think so or it wouldn't be on the ingredient label. I'm currently drinking the Pacific organic almond milk which is good and nutty, but I really enjoyed the Silk almond milk -- quite delicious.:)

I've also managed to get halfway through the Happiness Project! Me and this woman are nothing alike. First of all, she's married with kids and into law and politics. She's written books on Churchill and JFK and she seems fairly serious and doesn't have a ton of interests. However, even though I think we're as different as different can be, I love the book because I find that a lot of what she says is true and helpful! I think of myself as a pretty happy person, very happy a lot of the time. But this book has made me think about starting my own happiness project and picking something to work on for one month, adding on to it each month for a year to become happier and better yourself as a person. I definitely think everyone should read this. It has chapters on parenting and marriage but it's all relative, you can apply it to any relationship in your life. Did you know that because women are more empathetic, spending time with women increases your overall life satisfaction where as spending time with men does not at all? And women bond being face to face with a person where men can being side by side which is why women are usually the ones trying to bring up more meaningful conversations and wanting to "talk" so much with their spouse/boyfriend. I thought that was interesting:) It was in the chapter on marriage.

Eat to Live is still sitting on my bedside table staring at me. So is New Good Food. New Good Food though I feel is more of something to have, read through once, and then refer back to. Maybe take some notes on it as well which is what I'm planning to do when I can find the time and not feel like I'm going to fall asleep during the middle of the task. I'll get to them though, I promise. Odds are you'll have to be patient or give up on waiting and go read it first.:) And if you do, let me know what you think.;)

So for my birthday, on top of my marvelous knives -- I got a hand mixer/immersion blender and an olive oil spritzer from my parents, and my sister got me some really cute earrings! Yay, such a good birthday!:) I can't wait to use the cooking stuff! I've already worn the earrings and gotten many compliments:) It sure is great to have a sister who shares the same style as you, makes gift buying super easy and the recipient is pretty much guaranteed to love it.:)

"Perfection is unattainable, but as we strive for it, we might just reach excellence."-Vince Lombarde